I hate Sacramento. OK, maybe this is because I got to spend a relaxing week in Santa Cruz, but still. I’m not happy about my return home y’all.
Seriously – when you enter Sacramento there should by a sign that says, “If You Lived Here, You’d be Miserable by Now.”
My downstairs neighbors are adolescent meth users.
Everyone has allergies.
People are always sweaty because there is a constant, dry heat from the end of May to the end of September.
Everyone drives like shit. And I can say that because I have been on a few road trips and I swear to god, people actually know how to merge the moment you make it out of Sacramento. It’s like being freed from an enchantment of bad driving.
The level of unhappiness amongst Sacramentans is through the roof.
Actually, wealthy people are usually pretty happy here. That’s because they can afford big houses sans neighbors, great allergy meds, a really nice pool and a driver so they don’t have to worry about the traffic – they can just hire someone else to do it for them.
What is awesome about coming home from Santa Cruz? Well I got a sweet job that allows me to (gulp) leave my job at the mall.
I made this face when they told me:
The job is the tennis ball. It’s a metaphor.
This means I will have nights and weekends and a job that I truly enjoy doing. But I think the picture says it all.
We also got a dog:
Scarlett Divine – Mistress of the Underworld (Rapist Killer)
For anyone who is wondering: we have her in a crate because her previous owner trained her that way and it makes her a little more chill in her new environment. We want her out of the crate and solving crime throughout Sacramento as soon as possible, but it’s all about baby steps.
Also, apologies for not posting yesterday. I had to go to the doctor and get put on some meds and then I slept for 14 hours. Any post I would have produced in my brief moments of lucidity would have been not just awful, but unintelligible. So, really what I should say is, you’re welcome.
And what about books, Amanda?
Well, to be quite honest, I’m not reading any fucking books right now. Between being sick and taking care of the new dog I feel like my brain is going to melt out of my head. I’m serious – last night I watched three hours of TobyGames on Youtube. My brain is not in the mood for reading. Shit happens, you guys.
And if I had to pick a book to read it sure as shit wouldn’t be this one:
Awarded Best Sequel in the World by No One.
I tried reading this. I really did. It’s the only book I’ve ever gotten more than halfway through and then quit. Why did I do this? Because it’s the first book all over again. Here’s the deal – it starts off all original and I was all, “Shit Katniss, how you gonna get out of this, girl?” And then I was all, “Oh, because you’ll just go back in the arena and do the first book over again.” I would have given a heads-up about spoilers, but it isn’t a spoiler because if you’ve read the first book it already happened. So, I gave up on the series, and listen, I’ve had about a million people tell me I need to finish reading the damn thing and I’m just not going to do it. You fucked up, Suzanne Collins. You have fucked up.
And to be clear, I still stand by the fact that even though I think Catching Fire is shitty, if you love it and it gets you reading, well that’s awesome. Keep on reading and read what you want. I’m just a bitch with an opinion.
Bet you have a book you hate! Tell me about it in the comments and we can have a healthy discussion about terrible reads!
amanda meets book 
I really don’t have any books that I really dislike but then again I don’t read as many as Amanda and she has to read a lot of books that she doesn’t choose herself being a literature major. I did not like The Magician King though. Let’s put it this way, I downloaded it for free which requires no effort and I still felt I wasted resources. That’s pretty bad. Nothin against Lev Grossman, just not my cup of tea.
I didn’t like that book either. I didn’t even read the damn thing. You read me a few passages and I was like, “Nope. No. Dude doesn’t know how to write.”
I don’t know of a book I don’t like, at least not at the moment, but I do like the book you recommended in your last blog, Outlander. It is a great read and very hard to put down. I bought the next two books in the series, too!!
So proud of you on the new job!! Scarlett is beautiful and I know she will be so happy to be part of your family once she feels more at ease and comfortable in her new home. She is going to love you both.
You didn’t like The Thirteenth Tale, remember? We both hated that awful book.
This is really snotty, but Moby Dick (and everything else) by Herman Melville. Holy shit dude, GET TO THE POINT. He rambles on and on like those annoying people that talk to you when you’re in a long line in the grocery store and all you want to do is get the fuck out before you put a gun to your head.
I tried reading Melville once. Couldn’t do it. I have a good friend who loves his writing and tries to get me to understand why. Just can’t make it happen. I like a good, snappy read. I think the fact that they also shove those books down your throat in high school doesn’t help poor Melville win a wide audience.
Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley. It’s boring and tedious to read… so why read it when the basic themes are so much better presented in Demolition Man? When Sylvester Stallone’s rambling conveys your book’s messages better than your writing… you know you did something wrong.
I love that you brought this book up. I’ve never read it (I know, I know) but whenever I see someone buying it they are always a hipster. And I think they are just buying it because of the cool new cover.
I had just started writing a post about depth vs accessibility in movies and books… which is why I was already thinking about the book when I read your post hahaha! I can’t remember if I actually hate the book, or just hate how well-praised it is.
That’s a pretty common literary conundrum! Do you hate the book for what it is or because of the “hype?” I ask myself that question with books I like if they are also popular. Do I like it because it’s good or because it’s popular?
Or like hipsters… do we start disliking that same book because it started climbing the sales charts and everyone was talking about it all the time?
I don’t live in Sacramento anymore because I’m in the airport about to get on a plane that moves me to China! What!?!?
Braggart! Have a safe journey and get the hell out of here!
Congratulations on the new job! I hope to sell a book in the near future (which isn’t looking too promising right now, I have to admit) so I can stop with my shit customer-service oriented job at a restaurant. You know what I hate? Snobby people. And you know what I hate more? Being yelled at for not having gluten-free bread at said restaurant. And that, in a nutshell, is what my job is.
Oh dude. Isn’t it miserable? Especially in your case. I’m sure a part of you can’t help but think “Eff you, dicks. I wrote a book.” It’s so hard to work customer service too. People think you are the company they are mad at. Once, a lady started yelling at me about a candle that got discontinued. I told her, “Yell at me all you want. I just work for The Man.” That shut her up real quick.
I used to work in a breakfast cafe here in San Francisco. Lots of “organic” “fair trade” “non-slavery” and “untortured” products. A lady came in one day and after looking briefly at the menu immediately asked me, “where does your bacon come from?”
I was so dumstruck all I could do was look her in the eye and say, “Pigs, I hope.”
I don’t work there anymore.
You are always a true source of inspiration. I hope you know that.
I do. 🙂
I love your blog and wanted to let you know I nominated you for an award!!
Hey! Thank you! Seriously, it made my day. I was out walking my dog when my phone was like “boop” and I got all smooshy and excited in public.
Some dude in a car was giving me the stink-eye.
Screw you, man. I just won a blogger award!
Yeah fuck him…no wait, you have a boyfriend. I get the stink eye often, and i usually follow it with a quick “go fuck yourself.” Its probably why I have so many friends.
for some reason i couldn’t get into the second hunger games book. i swallowed the first one whole, but two chapters into catching fire and I put it down. #shameful
Isn’t is just awful? Had the sequels been written after the production of the first movie, I would have claimed it was due to a money grab, but I think it was just an (honest?) mistake on the authors behalf.
Books like this just make me irritable.
Twilight and it’s all it’s brethern books…they were the worst books ever and I am unsure why I read them all. It was a weird compulsion to see if the dialogue could get any worse or the story more – I don’t even have a word for it.
But like you say – it’s not what you read, it’s that you read.
I do like dystopia – it’s one of my favorite genres. And I like the word ‘genre’.
I read the trilogy and loved them all, but you are right – the second book is a repeat of the first.
I confess to loving the Twilight books as well, even though they are so badly written. I don’t know why and I’m ashamed of myself – as Edward might say, they are like a drug to me; my own personal brand of heroin 😉
The one book I hated above all others was Madame Bovary. I put it down when I found myself urging her to commit suicide and put us all out of our misery.
I always stop reading if I’m not enjoying a book; life’s too short to read/watch something just to get to the end – especially with the advent of Wikipedia 🙂
I’m busy with Romeo and Juliet at the moment (throwing that in to cancel out the Twilight confession).
My favourite, must read at least once a year book is Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game. Do you know it? Child soldiers in space.
Hey, I’m sensing a rather creepy theme here…